On February 14, 2026, Kasie and Rex took on love stories and romances in honor of Valentine’s Day. Here are the show notes:

Topic: Romance and Love Stories

Agenda:

• Quick catch up
• Love Story basics
• Romance basics
• How to do it

Segment 1

The last time we had a show near Valentine’s Day, it was the day after and we did Episode 299 “Love for Love’s Sake” exploring the trappings of a love story. So we’ll start there.

Love stories are universal because they are so versatile. In our previous episode, we went through the types of love per This link which explains it this way: “the comprehensive feeling for the entire cosmos.” From the same link, other types of love:

• Eros – passionate or romantic love
• Philia – goodwill or friendship
• Storge – natural love or familial love, that which you feel for those in your proximity and history
• Ludos – skittish or unreliable love, maybe a crush? Also playful, or those early stages of the fluttering in your belly, giddiness of love
• Pragma – duty or reason-supported love, as in an arranged marriage, of course I love my sister’s dogs…
• Philautia – self-love or love within oneself.
• Mania (from this link) – obsession 

If it’s a love story, it might also be a non-romantic love that takes center stage. For example:

• Mother’s love for her child: 1) nurturing and unconditional, 2) fierce and protective, 3) sacrificial, 4) strained or resentful, 5) absent or abandoned – leaving our character wanting more.
• Father’s love for his child: 1) supportive and nurturing, 2) wise and guiding, 3) demanding or disciplining, 4) abusive or neglectful, 5) stoic or unapproachable, 6) absent or wanting, and 7) replacement fathers like mentors, coaches, etc.
• Sibling love: 1) loyalty and protection, 2) competition and rivalry, 3) complex or strained – from the shared experience but different perspectives, think the siblings in The Godfather, 4) supportive or teammate-ish
• Friendship love: 1) deep companionship – shared experiences, mutually supportive, 2) ulterior motives – what can one gain from the other? 3) platonic affection – mutual respect, shared interests and values.

Segments 2 & 3

But a romance is not a love story and vice versa. So here’s some compare and contrast so we can differentiate between the two:

Both love stories and romance explore emotional intimacy and will likely also include physical intimacy. Both can elicit strong emotional reactions from readers. Love stories can be the primary plot, but are more often subplots. 

In contrast, romance stories put the love story at the center. It is the plot. How the characters interact with one another, the obstacles they overcome, and how they meet the challenges to come together are the plot. Romance has genre conventions, expectations that writers must meet not only to satisfy readers, but also to be considered a romance at all. For example, romance novels have a Happily Ever After ending. Always. No exceptions.

Romance stories also have specific tropes, or conventions that readers are familiar with that help shape the plot and characters, but also tip the reader off as to what to expect. Those tropes are:

• Unrequited love – who doesn’t love a good pining?
• Forbidden love – especially if the stakes are really, really high
• Love triangle – it’s rarely an actual triangle and usually more like two people want the same person and that person can’t decide, but nonetheless three makes it more fun
• Forced proximity – this is when two characters are stuck together and through that experience develop affection they wouldn’t have otherwise
• Second chance – this is after the couple has blown up for some reason and they come back around, after growing or healing, and establish something new and stronger
• Enemies to lovers – this is a classic; they start out hating one another and then realize they’re united in something that forces them to work together and reluctantly admit one another’s value
• Fake relationship – this is where the two pretend to be attached and then actually fall for one another
• Childhood friends – I love this one, it’s where the shared history becomes enough to mature into an adult relationship.

Segment 4

So how do you do it?

This is Jane Friedman on writing love scenes, which is pretty good. Remember the more love scenes you read, the better you’ll get at writing them.

• Establish reasonable reasons for these people to love one another – romance or otherwise, they should have a reason for being drawn together
• Give them something to talk about other than themselves and their affection for one another
• Limit the dialogue – the tension, passion, understanding, connection is in what they don’t say
• Don’t overstate the description – how they move around one another, the points of contact, leave some of that to the reader’s inner vision of the scene.