On June 28, 2025, Kasie and Rex took on Coming of Age stories (including cheesy teen movies, Kasie’s favorite film genre). Here are the show notes:

Theme for the day

Coming of Age Stories

Agenda

• Quick catch-up
• What is the coming of age story?
• Examples of good and bad
• How to write a coming of age story

Segment 1

It’s a classic, a trope, a cliche, it’s the coming of age story and everyone knows it because it’s something we’ve all experienced. What are the elements of it? How do you know you’re writing it? What are the pitfalls to avoid. All that and more in today’s episode.

Coming of age stories focus on the psychological and moral development of a protagonist from childhood or adolescence to adulthood (link). Also called Bildungsroman, the German terminology, for a novel that depicts a character’s journey from adolescence to adulthood.

Some key characteristics (thank you AI) include:

• Focus on the protagonist’s growth – the central theme is the character’s development, so every incident, experience, is going to be about that. Example: To Kill a Mockingbird
• Emphasis on internal change – the growth is frequently about the character learning or understanding how the world does not revolve around them. Example: Catcher in the Rye
• Exploration of themes – themes like self discovery, identity formation, family relationships. Example: Mermaids with Wynona Ryder and Cher, The Sandlot
• Character-driven narratives – not so much a plot driven book, but more of the character’s journey. Example: Kasie’s After December and Before Pittsburgh are this kind of book.
• Often set in Adolescence – the young person in the story sometimes makes us think the stories are FOR young people, but it’s not always the case. Example: The Girl Next Door

What do we like about the coming of age story?

What do we recognize in these stories? 

Segment 2

Here are some do’s and don’t for coming of age novels (link):

• Draw from personal experience
• Be mindful of voice and language – authenticity can make or break these books
• Provide a sense of hope
• Introduce conflict – must have something that pushes the plot forward
• Start with a hook – even though we’ll recognize this story, a hook is what makes this story unique from others
• Consider the mentor figure – some Coming of Age stories are all about the mentor (Dead Poet’s Society) and some ignore it all together (The Sandlot) in one I saw recently, the mentor was the girl’s own future self. It was a cool twist on the concept.

Some don’ts:

• Don’t avoid tough conflicts – people go to coming of age stories to see themselves and their lived experiences; deliver the goods.
• Don’t simplify the resolution – while a lot of coming of age conflicts are not solved at the time – some you just have to grow through and out of – stories need resolution and that could lead you to simplifying the outcome. Try not to.
• Don’t rely on cliches – sometimes when we try to sanitize or distance a real experience from us, we collapse into cliche. What makes this story unique are the circumstances surrounding it. Try to leverage the unique aspects and avoid cliche.

Segment 3

What are some of the best and why are they so good?

Some events that lend themselves to coming of age:

• School years passing – moving from elementary to middle for example (Stand By Me)
• Wedding – probably a parent or a sibling (Sixteen Candles); with the parent it’s about the family dynamics changing, with the sibling it’s a contrast between where they are and where the protagonist is
• Funeral – grief and loss are powerful change agents and sometimes an early loss can be a catalyst for unwanted (resisted!) personal growth
• Natural disaster – a catastrophic event like a flood, a storm, or an earthquake can rob the protagonist of their security and force them to adapt
• Competition – proving themselves in a public way (Karate Kid, Hunger Games) can drive personal growth with the added advantage of the setback or failure
• Journey – aside from a hero’s journey, the opportunity to go somewhere new can provide the character a fish-out-of-water growth opportunity; think of all those summer camp stories

Some themes that dominate this kind of story (think you AI):

• Loss of innocence – facing the reality of the world as it is, not as it was imagined to be
• Identity – discovering who they are, embracing their individuality, finding their place in the world
• Relationships – navigating changing dynamics with friends, family, and community
• Betrayal – learning about trust, and the impact of others’ actions
• Sexual awakening – exploring one’s own sexuality and the emotional changes it brings

You could also decide to write one of these four basic types (link):

• Bildungsroman – worldly experience is gained, the character moves out of innocence into adulthood
• Sexual awakening – focusing on the physical, mental and emotional changes around sexuality
• Discovery of identity – gender, political, racial, what have you, the identity story is a character determining their potential, their boundaries, and their strength
• Betrayal – growing up can be painful and sometimes it’s served with an extra dose of who-not-to-trust.

Segment 4

So how do you do it? Well, also from this link, it starts with developing a clear voice. Who is the storyteller? Some coming-of-age stories have the adult looking back on the childhood experience (Stand By Me) and some drop us right in the protagonist’s current condition (Are you there, God? It’s me, Margaret). Decide if the character knows what’s happening (they’re in a story) or if they’re blind to the fourth wall.

Find the conflict. Growing up has a lot of conflicts and so these stories are ripe for sub-plots that reinforce themes and complicate the primary plot. In Mermaids, for example, the Winona Ryder character’s primary conflict is with her mother and not wanting to be like her, but she’s also got a new school fish-out-of-water experience and a potential love interest and her misconceptions of sex to contend with. Both subplots hinge on her mother’s example and what the protagonist decides to do about them reinforces her desire to not act the way her mom would.

Draw from personal experience. Many (all?) coming of age stories are autobiographical. They include the details of a real experience to authenticate them. The true story elements will be the most vivid and memorable.

Identify pivotal events or moments. It’s a good idea to spend more time (word count and page-wise) on those critical moments than to let them fit neatly inside the plot. Young people are prone to exaggeration and hyperbole so another authentic attribute is the hyper focus on seemingly low-stakes situations. For example, making a bad impression on a crush, embarrassing themselves at school, or disappointing an adult might not carry life-changing consequences but can seem enormously important when one’s life is only 12, 13, or 14 years old.